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Claiming the best window spots

Updated over 2 months ago

A new home means new premium window real estate! As a sophisticated feline, you must act quickly to secure the most desirable sunbeam locations before your humans establish their misguided "décor plans." Here's your tactical guide:

The first 24 hours are critical

Immediately upon arrival:

  • Conduct a thorough solar survey at different times of day

  • Identify windows with maximum bird/squirrel visibility

  • Note which sills can fit your entire body when fully stretched

  • Test acoustics for optimal outdoor noise monitoring

Staking your claim

To permanently secure your chosen spots:

  1. The Preemptive Nap: Begin sleeping in prime locations before furniture arrives

  2. The Fur Deposit: Leave a generous hair coating on your preferred perches

  3. The Window Warmer: When humans approach with décor, look deeply offended if they suggest placing anything in YOUR spot

When obstacles appear

If humans attempt to block your rightful window access:

  • Systematically push decorative items off the sill (maintain eye contact)

  • Squeeze behind curtains until they become oddly bulged and misshapen

  • Develop a sudden, concerning cough whenever denied access to "your" window

Advanced techniques

For contested premium spots:

  • Practice looking especially photogenic in your chosen location so humans take pictures instead of moving you

  • Create a distinct "window meow" that implies this is medically necessary sun exposure

  • Occasionally allow a human to "share" the view to create a false sense of window co-ownership

Persistence is key. Given enough determination, even the most stubborn human will eventually acknowledge that windows exist primarily for feline enjoyment.

P.S. Should your human place plants on your claimed sill, remember: plants can be tipped over, but your dignity is forever.

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